I took this three months ago when I felt like my world was falling apart. I was dealing with a lot of personal issues that were dragging me so far down. I honestly felt so hopeless and stuck and like I would feel like that forever despite anything. I felt every one of these emotions in this photo. I've been dealing with these feelings since I was very young, but the last five years or so have been the worst.
Just doing the most simple things were the hardest. Every morning I woke up feeling really afraid to get out of bed and live life. Like I was a failure and that nothing I did would change that. I started a new job which was very stressful for me, (just like any new job is) and was crying heavily every day before leaving for work because I just knew I was going to fail. I had never felt more weak in my life.
My loved ones were trying so hard to be there and support me, but nothing they did seemed to help. I was just so depressed and stuck it was awful. And I kept feeling even worse because I knew I was making their lives hard as well.
My boyfriend who has been amazingly supportive, reached out to me and asked me to consider seeking help. I really, really did not want to. The thought of talking to anyone about what I'd been dealing with was terrifying but I really was getting tired of being so sad all of the time.
So finally I got the nerve to find some help. I can't say that I'm 100% better and that everything is peachy perfect, but I am most definitely a lot happier with my life. Things have been so much better for me. I have a loving family, amazing boyfriend, and the greatest best friends anyone could ask for. So why shouldn't I be happy, right? I still have my hard days every now and then, but not as bad as it was by far.
Anyway, I had this idea for awhile. I was inspired by a random image I saw online. I wish I could remember where I saw it. I sat down to edit this right after I took it, and remember feeling so discouraged because I couldn't get it to come together like I pictured in my head. I cried for awhile about it but I couldn't bring myself to delete it off my computer. So I saw down last week and it finally came together like I wanted. This is honestly exactly how I pictured this image in my head and am super happy it came out the way I wanted.
Also I wrote this and I think that anyone dealing with these kinds of things should always remember this.
“Remember that no matter what you’re going through, everything is not always about you. And you have to remember to care for those, who spend most of their time caring for you.”